I went down down down
Jerome and I had too much fun with
this little gem yesterday for me to not post it. Bear in mind when you listen that this is for real-- it's from a religious LP called Lil Markie. When I read about it on
boingboing I expected it to be really freaky and more than a bit scary. What I didn't expect was that I would be able to actually feel the flames of hellfire licking my feet hungrily as I giggled uncontrollably while listening. Yep, I'm a very, very bad person. And I've decided to be ok with that.
And it burned burned burned, the ring of fire...the ring of fire.
PS- If you still have delusions of compassion, jump over here and check out Peace Signs Day! on
girlsarepretty. That should just about seal the deal.
Everytime I see sunshine....
... what a great day for dancehall.
While we're on the downloads,
grab this Xiquet mix. Been out for a bit, but it still makes me smile and bounce and type a little faster in my cage.
Take the meatbridge. It's right here.
First things first: for the love of all that is good and holy,
download this Saul Williams mix. 2 words:
track four. (via
Catchdubs. Thanks, guy!)
Ok, now that you're sorted on tunes, let's turn our attention to the news round up. Cause you know how reading the news sometimes makes you wish you lived on another planet? Well, not today. Today it's just plain flat out fuggin funny:
Putin ganks the precious.
Why does
this story remind me of a certain flight to London circa 2002? Also worth reading because you gotta love any standard of journalism that allows "do up" to be used as a verb.
Pee-ping Tom. Yeah, well, even though it's clearly a lob sometimes you have to take the shot just cause it's there.
See ya'll at Minna. I'm ready to get my drink on, hump day style.
Down on Lover Ave...
Come to 111 Minna this evening and break you off some Brian.
You don't need a machine to make a rainbow...
...for rainbows are made of happy thoughts and dreams and chocolate unicorns and gumdrops and licorice sunsets.
I wasn't going to post anything today. I'm not feeling very well, and so even though I'm stuck at home with nothing to do but watch Date My Mom with my roommate, I just couldn't muster the energy to sit here in front of my (slowly dying) laptop and write the inevitable zombie post that
recent discoveries have ensured will have to happen within the next week. But I'm just not ready yet. So I decided if I was going to post anything it would have to be something nice. Something clean and beautiful. So I went off in search of something clean and beautiful, and found
the art of Eric Feng. (via
Cool Hunting)
Have a nice day. I mean that.
They may be numbered.
Powers. I have 'em!
So, I can barely lift my hands to type today cause I learned how to rock climb yesterday. I know what you're thinking, how in the hell did you hold onto a Budweiser and climb a rock face at the same time? Well, folks, because I am that good. In fact, here is a pic of me chillin near my first summit. Ok, ok, so that's bullshit, but I can tell you that although most of the climbers were much better at the monkey crawl than I was, there was one 3 year old at that gym who had his little ass handed to him by one Jess S. That's right little man, FACE! Uh huh.
And after I purchase
this kung fu training video game, and learn how to harness chi for flying palm of buddha, my plan for global domination will be that much closer to seeing the glorious light of day. Go ahead. Fear me. (via
boingboing)
Ok, enough about my ass kicking fineness, Sydney Bristow stiz. Here's your daily link dump so that I can go back to soaking in a hot bath and wishing for sweet sweet oblivion to come and take the pain away (or maybe I could just take some Advil. Whatever):
Boy who doesn't care that you're a DJ now has
a whole blog devoted to not caring that you're a DJ. Cause he doesn't care. And that's how much. Yeah, really. Take that Mr. Big Time Prom DJ who stole his date to the senior year Beneath the Palms Ball and forced him to end his night at Circle K crying in his Big Gulp.
Idoru. And further evidence that Japanese men are ronry, so ronry.
I'll bet
this guy would pass Jay Kim's kimche test.
And I thought bacon wrapped hot dogs were the best idea ever.
One up. Big time. (those of you who don't know me should rest assured that I do not endorce the consumption of heroin wrapped in cocaine. Or heroin wrapped in crystal meth. Although heroine wrapped in a block of hash could be one hell of a party, off the record.) (Also via
boingboing)
Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that.
I'm tired of thinking of titles for posts. So henceforth, or until I get bored with it, all titles for my posts will be quotes from Aquateen Hunger Force. Whether appropriate or not. Commence the jigglin'.
For all those that couldn't be there, the campout couldn't have been better. I had more fun than
a dog with two dicks. Not a cloud in the sky all weekend, bumpin beats, beautiful visuals, kind people, tasty food.
Thanks so much to our guest DJs Tamo, the Barringer Bros and Drei, and to everyone who helped out, either by sharing some food or drink or helping to tear down and clean up.
The only thing I think we should do differently is have everyone in the crew dress alike next time. That's some
next level shit right there.
I'm still in recovery mode, so until I am able to form sentences, you know, with my brain, here's the
theeeeeeme frooooooom NARC, done by the Pixies. Put it on repeat and pretend to shoot your coworkers over the sides of your cubicle. You don't have to- I'm just sayin you should.
Oh, and
check this blog out cause it's really twisted and funny, in a wow that's kinda f-ed up kinda way. "What do we find cool and refreshing?!" ... "Pansy blood!" Happy Pansy Rumble Day!
See you in the woods...
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
My new latex fetish
I was never one of those kids who was way into superheroes. Superman, Spiderman, even Wonderwoman were all just a little too preachy for my taste, even as a child. (ok, that’s not entirely true, show me a girl of this generation who didn’t want to be Linda Carter at one point or another, and I’ll show you a girl who didn’t have a television). But then I discovered the Batman: Tales of the Dark Knight series. These cartoons kicked ass, in every sense. From style to content, this was not your average afternoon animation. It was dark, serious, wicked. I would come home every day from school and plop myself down in front of the tube with a box of fruit loops and get lost in the underworld of Gotham. Awesome.
But when the first movie came along I was not impressed. Sure Nicholson was great, but come.on. Michael Keaton as Batman? Really? This guy? Mr. Mom? The guy has no chin. How you gonna have a Batman who has no chin? Plus, no way was MK tortured enough to pull off Bruce Wayne or Batman. Oh, I’m kinda bummed that my folks got murdered, but wouldn’t it be a kick to dress up like a bat and beat people up? And I won’t even go into those other movies. Mostly because I don’t remember them. I quickly lost interest in the whole story.
So a huge thanks to Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale for saving the series. They've managed to put the "dark" back in the dark knight. This film combines some of the best elements from 2 of my favorite genres, horror and kung fu, but it’s also funny and dramatic in all the right places. Everyone in the cast does a good job. Even Katie Holmes manages to not be as annoying as I expected (although I did keep expecting to see Tom Cruise jumping up and down in the frame behind her).
Christian Bale is the perfect actor to play Batman. He can pull off sincere and heroic and then turn around in the next instant be completely convincing as a shallow and privileged asshole, Bruce Wayne’s chosen persona for this take on the character (Patrick Bateman stiz). This film really comes through for showing how Batman may wear the rubber suit, but the real mask is the one that Bruce Wayne wears when he’s pretending to be a billionaire playboy, and Bale’s chiseled features couldn’t be more appropriate for these moments. And seriously girls, hot. He even looks good in a Mongolian prison.
I'm not saying the movie is perfect, but it's flaws are forgiveable in light of the fact that you're just having so much damn fun watching it. And of course it’s got cool gadgets and creepy villains (Cillian Murphy from 28 Days does a really good Scarecrow), which is key.
And even though the message is a little heavy handed at times, it still manages to come through as being sincere. This movie, like Helen Hunt for Jack Nicholson, makes me want to be a better person. Of course, it also makes me want to have sex with a bat, but hell, I’m not gonna do that either.
Speaking of which, here’s some artwork by a guy who’s maybe a little
“too” into Batman (NSFW). And it kind of confirms that sidekick theory that’s floating around. Thanks, Colin.
In any case, go see it and form your own opinion. Let me know what you think.
MIA custom Reeboks
"He's got Colgate on his teeth and Reebok Classics on his feet"
-- MIA,
SunshowersThat's right. She's customized 10 pairs of Reeboks. Is there any pie this girl doesn't have her fingers in? (cue Stefanie... wait for it, wait for it...)
Josh Rubin's giving away a pair over at
Cool Hunting. Go get em.
Oh, and by the way, I found out yesterday that Diplo is not, I repeat NOT dating MIA. She has a boyfriend, but it's not him. Call me, D. Seriously.
This has nothing to do with MIA, but for some reason it came up when I typed her name in google image search and c'mon, you know I had to post it. Kinda reminds me of Stinky May and her big hunka man, Harley.
Throw the blog a bone
Hello again. Been super busy lately, so not a lot of time for posting. And you know, I'd rather not post anything than post some lame shit about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt or something. Oh. Whoops.
Moving on...so the reason I've been so busy is cause there's so much great stuff to do in this city, but unfortunately almost all of it involves drinking. The Haight Street Fair was awesome, as far as I remember. One of the hottest days in SF in recent memory, great beats (pass the dutchie one more time, Freddie!), cooperative police (big ups SFPD- but that "temporary" tatoo you guys gave me still won't wash off. My cover is so blown next time I wear a tank top), and tons of happy people. Here's the
pics that Prince Pablo took with his sooper dooper mega-lo camera.
Plus I started my stint as sometime record wench at BPM this week. Made for a 13 hour workday for me yesterday, but you can't really count hanging out in a record store as hard work, so it was cool. Highlight of the evening was when I was sitting there by myself playing records and about 10 grade school kids on their way home from school heard the beats and flocked into the store for an impromptu dance party. Future DJs of America. Get em hooked early and they'll never let go. Victor should really give me a kick back for that one.
There is nothing but nothing going on right now online, but here are some links to keep you from applying yourself at work. Wouldn't want that to happen.
Mike the headless chicken
gets his own documentary.
Oh
fer cryin out loud.
This guy
breathes life into your average children's drawings. Very very cool stuff. (via boingboing)
Vote for
DJ Pedro. link courtesy of Doc Ott.
Finally, does a squirrel shit in the woods? It does this weekend. We're planting the Brass Tax flag on the red white and blue beach in Santa Cruz. Trust me, this one's gonna be good. The visuals alone are worth the trip down there. And we've got some special stuff planned musically to give you a break from those driving beats (not that there won't be the fair share of that as well).
Here's the details.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith clean up at the box office, save Africa
Looks like Mr. and Mrs. Smith
might actually be good. I know that will make my male friends happy, judging from the fact that I have to spray them with a water hose every time we go to a movie to get them to stop humping that huge cardboard cutout of Angelina Jolie. Those paper cuts must sting like a bitch, huh fellas?
Anyway, that's not why we're here today. We're here because Jon Stewart is a funny MF.
Exhibit 1via
Crooks and Liars
i heart the lovemakers (and tequila)
The Lovemakers show last night kicked ass, although Nastily and I totally missed half of it cause when we went outside to smoke we ran into a certain lover of rave, (or is that lover ave?) who happened by on his way home and kidnapped us to go, um, meet his cat. His cat's name is Datura. She's cute. No, really, that's not code, his cat's name is Datura.
Anyhows, we caught the tail end of the show, and these guys really impressed me. And yes, they do make out on stage. A lot. That's their thing, apparently. Kinky. And I found out that
Cabo Wabo tequila is good stuff. I drank a bunch of it last night, and I'm not hungover at all today. And I'm not just saying that because they picked up our bartab. (PS- thanks, Sammy!)
So, not a lot worth blogging today (as if that's ever stopped me before) but if you're still looking for stuff to do in the next few days, these things look pretty cool:
SATURDAY: ATTACK OF THE BURNING MAN FUNDRAISERSThe House of Lotus Speakeasy:
Calling all dangerous dames, zoot-suited macks and back alley types,
House of Lotus is about to break the law again with our special Burning
Man 2005 fundraiser - at the Bayview Winery, the site of a genuine
1920’s speakeasy in San Francisco.
Check da flyerThe Paradox Lounge Party
the tenderloft - 142 taylor (next to original joes)
10pm-4am
cash bar - no atm on premises, pls bring cash
djs from your favorite burning man-affiliated camps battle it out to see who really can still dj while cracked out - tung, fred funk, 8ball, kapt kirk, mancub, murphstar
(get it? pair a' ducks? Hahahahahahaaaa- there's still life in me yet.)
SUNDAY: BRASS TAX VS. THE HAIGHT ASHBURY STREET FAIR
It's time for the 5th annual Haight Street Fair! Ok, ok, so the fair's been going on a lot longer than 5 years, 28 years to be exact, but this will be the 5th straight year that the Brass Tax are bringin the boom back to the heart of the fair, Haight and Ashbury- proper renegade style
So break out your peasant skirts and bell bottoms and come help us remind those hippies that we're all rockers at heart. Or remind the rockers that we're all hippies at heart. Whatever, just bring it!
We'll be feeling the love this Sunday from noon until the last aura is
cleansed. (on Ashbury btw Haight and Waller).
Guiding you on your spiritual journey will be Tung, Fred Funk,
Sound:boy, Jess and Loosebeats, with guest: [e]
Peace,
--BTx
MONDAY: DID SOMEONE SAY ZEITGEIST?
This Monday, June 13th is the ZEITGEIST 2005 INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL. Oh yes, that deserves capslock, you betcher ass it does. Admission is $5, movies will be projected on the wall over the patio using Zeitgeist's patented Beer-O-Scope(tm) technology, and starts at 9pm. Smoking and drinking is encouraged. They're showing films (they're all shorts) from Germany, Australia and the U.K. as well as a local SF production called "Purple Glob" that sounds pretty freaking cool.
link (props to Jeffro for the info)
So I hope to see you out and about very soon. That is if I'm not blackballed from the SF party scene on account of my last post. If so, I'll just put on a cowboy hat and go undercover.
Hipsters vs. Ravers
I'm not sure if it's healthy to have cabin fever this bad by Thursday, cause damn I'm chompin at the bit. I think if I had to spend one more night at home staring at my TV I would go insane. Sucks to be broke, folks. Which is why it's a very good thing that not only do I get to hang out with Nastily Makesh Makerekesh tonight for the first time in forever, but that we were able to wrangle some free tix to see the Lovemakers at the Independent.
Now I've never seen the Lovemakers (although I've heard they kick ass) but I always look forward to a night of hipster hunting at the Independent. Next to Rickshaw Stop, the Independent is the premiere spot at which to catch these adorably jaded little imps in their natural habitat. Which is why I was very excited to see that my absolute favorite blog EVAR,
My Blog is Poop, chose today of all days to post "
how to appear in a hipster photoblog"
As I was reading through this list, chuckling to myself and no doubt feeling oh so superior to these twenty something git-teratti, it occurred to me that these kids are no more ridiculous than the old school ravers that frequent our parties. Just exchange the apathy for PLUR, and the bad Pat Benatar hairdo for dreads, and there you have it. So I've compiled my own list: How to appear in an SF raver photoblog.
-- Look directly at the camera. Smile big. You don't have much choice, really, the drugs are making these decisions for you now, and you haven't been able to stop smiling for the past 5 hours.
--
hug that person next to you really close. You don't remember her name even thought you've met her 15 times, but you really really feel a connection to her. You're pretty sure it's something like Sugar Kitten, or maybe Andromeda.
--
Show your ass. Cause it's all about ass.
ass ass ass ass. Think about all the fun words that we can modify to contain the word ass: TexASS, bASS, blASSt, pASSt, mASS, harASS the fun just never ends!!!!!! ASS!
-- Stand next to Smoove.
-- If you can't decide what to wear, wear a cowboy hat. Yeah,
a pink one!
-- If you're the DJ, make it look like you're actually doing something technical. Like pretend to adjust the tempo, or hold your headphones to one side to let people know that you're cueing up your next sick track. (this one's actually a direct quote of Bob's list- cause some things are universal)
If you don't believe me, just check out any of the pics on
MV Galleries. Any of them. Doesn't matter. I should say, in all fairness, that you very well might see me in some of them doing any number of the above. It's true. I'm not proud of myself.
Wow, I'm getting really jaded and bitter. This post could've been written by Kirsten, fer fucks sake. Sorry, KC, I'll stop encroaching on your territory. Maybe I'll see you tonight at the Independent. Don't be offended if I pretend not to notice you, I'll be busy practicing looking bored and disinterested. I've decided to become a hipster. I'm allergic to faux fur.
Hallelujah
It's raining men.
Don't blame me, blame Jeffro.
Hookers, horse, and deadly housepets
Sorry for being a lagger with the posts lately. We've got a ton of good stuff coming up with Brass Tax this month, so we've been busy little beavers. Check the
website for more details if you're interested.
In the meantime, here are some cool things to check out if you've got a few minutes to spare:
The Guns N' Roses cover band,
Mr. Brownstone. I'll keep you updated, cause when they come to town I'm breakin out my late 80s bustier, high heeled leather scrunch boots and aquanet extra hold and we're gonna take it down to Paradise City, trust.
link via
You Can't Make It Up
Gavin wants to
stop folks keeping polar bears in their apartments. Or something like that. In all seriousness, it's terrible what happened to that little boy- I'm just not sure we need more goverment regulation in place of common sense. But, you know, if folks think it's necessary, that's cool. We may wanna consider
outlawing piranha as well, cause that's pretty messed up right thur.
Oh, and fellas- might be a good idea to stay within the city limits when you go out for the occasional strange from now on. At least, stay away from Oaktown, unless you want to end up
on a billboard in Stef's neighborhood. Did we really need another reason not to go to Oakland? Just kidding, 'Bot, just kidding.
That's all for now. But don't forget to get your arse down to Haight and Ashbury this Sunday for the Brass Tax annual
rockin' o' the hippies. See ya there. I'll be the one dressed in flowing scarves and running down the street yelling, "Sid! Sidney! I look like fucking Stevie Nicks!!" Good times.
PS- if you didn't get that last reference, you've really got some
homework to do.
Friends and Family Plan
The pics from the first Parklife are up on
the Wildlife Crew's website. As you can see, it was a beautiful day for spending with family and other loved ones. Check it out:
Here's me with my folks:
Hi, Mom and Dad! (note my healthy glow)
And here's Rosemary with her parents:
What a lovely family.
Oh look, it's Stefanie with her dog:
She sure does love that dog. Good girl, Windy! Good girl!
And here's Greg, catching some zs with someone he obviously holds very close to his heart...
...his cell phone.
Thanks again to the Wildlife Crew for a beautiful day in the park. Ya'll rock the mostest.
UPDATE
Out of sheer stupidity and shortsightedness I neglected to post a picture of Ding Dong with his true love, Senorita Cazadores:
I should also note that after this pic was taken his lady was passed around like a $2 whore. Everyone got a turn. It was shameful.
We interrupt this workday to bring you...
SF Indiefest presents: (YET) ANOTHER HOLE IN THE HEAD
Gaze in wonder, shiver with fear and chuckle with dark delight as HoleHead unleashes Egyptian Gods, bloodsucking parasitic monsters, clones, maniacs, Satanists, zombies, aliens, beavers, Godzilla, assassins, angry ghosts, hungry cows, spider women, wrestling seafood, samurai werewolves and more macabre mayhem. Just keep repeating, it’s only a movie link
Ok, here's the really cool thing. You ready for it? Ready? You sure? Ok, here goes- they are doing a
LIVE theatrical version of Evil Dead. I'm buying my ticket right now, and I suggest you do the same.
Hail to the king, baby.
Thanks, Jeffro.
So Best
It's that time again. Summer has arrived in San Francisco. One way you can tell is that almost every conversation at some point turns to, "so, are you going to Burning Man this year?"
Burning Man is as much a part of San Francisco as the Golden Gate Bridge, or panhandling transvestites. But one friend brought up an interesting point recently, that some people feel that it's a shame that the artistic heart of San Francisco is located in Nevada. I don't particularly agree with those folks. I mean, after all, these installations are created right here in the city, by people who draw their inspiration from the sights and sounds of San Francisco that they absorb on a daily basis, whether directly or indirectly. The fact that some of these sculptures don't live and breathe until unleashed on the playa is almost incidental.
But it's still nice to see them take shape right here at home. And when the installation in question is one manifestation of my favorite Burning Man pieces of all time, and when it is erected just a few blocks from my house, even better.
Temporary Temple Grows in Hayes Valley
Burning Man artist David Best creates temporary public art installation for Hayes Green. link
The article goes on to say that Newsom has plans to fund lots of short term temporary art projects like the temple in this public space rather than having a huge expensive sculpture that some of the residents of the neighborhood might hate. I think this is very good news, it will bring some of the spirit of Burning Man that so defines the citizens of this city back home. Now can we find a way to burn that atrocious bow and arrow thing down at the Embarcadero?
Here's are some more images of Best's amazing work:
Thanks to Jeremy for the link
Is fire an emotion? How about 'chocoholic'?
Just a little piece of
robot brilliance, courtesy of the very Reverend Otto.
Call me sentimental and old-fashioned, but if I saw
that dude on the street, I probably wouldn't even notice him, and if I did, I'd probably think he looked kinda like a Wanker. Thank god we have this damn internet to show us the brilliant and shiny inner robot inside of all the doofy-looking Wankers wandering around the streets.
And speaking which, do you know what happens to old Wankers when they die?
That's right. They get gerber daisies.
To serve man malt liquor and baile funk while crying
The BLF strikes again. You've gotta love anything that combines renegade activism with classic Twilight Zone references:
The Billboard Liberation Front is back in action again. In collaboration with Ron of the East, this afternoon they modified a billboard across from Golden Gate Park at the Cala Foods on Stanyon Street near Haight Street in San Francisco. link
New
full length baile funk mix on Boom Selection from someone called DJ Sujinho. A little bit ADD for my taste, but there are some interesting samples and it's good for a sunny day like today.
And Rev. Otto thinks it's fun to laugh at other people's misfortune. If you do too, check out
Crying, while eating. Yeah, that's right, yuk it up while your heart becomes even more cold and dead.
Finally! Just in time for summer:
malt liquor pops. You know, for the kids. No wonder she looks so happy.
Hump day links
DJ Haaaaaahteeee, also known as Diplo, has a new website. You can buy his new CD
Favela Strikes Back here, and download the
Haiti on Blast MP3, which is cute. Doctor Otto just came back from Texass with his CD
Florida, which is not what you'd expect. Very eclectic, and it sort of feels like he was really trying to capture his sense of that place rather than create a consistant mix of tracks. Or maybe he just hadn't really settled on a style yet. Whatever, I ain't hatin, it's really good.
In the animal world,
humpback whales are remixing each other's songs (
huuump back- with my mind on my money and my money on my mind, and
I wanna hump it to name a couple of recent tracks), and
rats are kicking the junk.
Oh, and Boingboing compiles
the best of squirrel. Most of 'em are kinda lame, but
this lady's nuts. Get it? Nuts? He. He he. I'm even punnier than usual today. If you don't have time to check out the whole site, you gotta at least have a look at these fierce
drunken squirrel kung fu action shots. For real real, not for play play, scroll down to the bottom of the page. Trust me.
above links via
Catchdubs and
BoingboingOk, now this one just takes the cake. Seriously.
Most f-ed up thing ever. I'm speechless. Can someone, anyone out there think of a way to make living with this knowledge any easier? If so, call me. link via
Pandas
