One day I had a party, and a friend of mine hid a full pack of gay playing cards with photos of naked dudes on each one all around my house. That was over two years ago, and those cards are still popping up every once in awhile, usually at the worst possible moments.
Best practical joke ever, I thought, until I saw this guy:
I know that GTG is usually a place for fun, humor and super-happy playtime, but it is time for me to speak out about a serious epidemic that is casting a harsh shadow across some of our best and brightest in America. We have all seen this debilitating illness take victim after victim and yet we do nothing about it – which is just what it wants. It strikes all – man or woman, black or white, rich or very, very rich – Exhaustion asks nothing of those who become its prey.
We know so little about Exhaustion: is it a virus or a disease? Can you inherit Exhaustion or is it something you pick up while attending a Kanye West after party? The studies are not only inconclusive, they are non-existent!!!
When Dave Chappelle left a Sacramento stage in 2004 screaming “It turns out I’m wrong, you people are stupid!” the signs were clear. It wasn’t until he walked away from millions of dollars to the waiting arms of South Africa that the horrible figure of Exhaustion was publicly revealed.
Thankfully, the next time that Exhaustion reared it’s ugly head, there was a hero waiting to fight back. Sheriff Lee Baca astutely recognized its early signs in a helpless female victim whom he grasped from Exhaustion’s tendrils in the nick of time. But Paris Hilton was to bear the brunt of the public’s ignorance and was sent back from her prison/mansion to battle Exhaustion alone and in a semi-private correctional facility.
We see the heartbreaking aftermath as another responsible young woman has fallen to this horrible epidemic. From rehab to late night drives with close friends, Lindsay Lohan finally lost her poignant battle to Exhaustion last month shortly after close friend Brittany Spears, obviously a fellow in this horrendous epidemic, showed early signs by routinely being too tired to put on her underpants.
Spreading it’s evil grip to the world of music, Exhaustion most recently claimed health food fanatic Amy Winehouse and now Meg White has cancelled the White Stripes tour because of Exhaustion’s evil cousin, Anxiety.
Fellow Americans, how long must we stand in silence as this modern day reaper continues to rip its scathe across the elite of our society? How many more VMA awards must we sit through before we finally realize that it may already be too late? If you suspect that yet another celebrity figure may be suffering from Exhaustion, please make a YouTube video as soon as possible and announce your allegiance as passionately as you can muster for your social icon of choice.
We have been silent for too long in defense of those who may be too tired to speak for themselves.
This past Tuesday I got to experience the dream of a lifetime - seeing Stevie Wonder live. I didn't know anyone else willing to drop $200 on a ticket, so I went by myself, all the way down in Saratoga at the Mountain Winery, and I'm so glad I did. It was unreal. I was about 100 feet away from Stevie, with a perfect sight line - no straining to see over tall people's heads or anything. The crowd was up dancing for about 3/4 of the show, and everybody seemed equally enthralled by the experience.
Dude. Stevie Wonder.
I tried to remember every song he played, but this is all I can remember (in no particular order):
Too High Golden Lady (!) Ribbon in the Sky Visions (!) Living for the City You Are the Sunshine of My Life Superstition Overjoyed (!) Boogie On Reggae Woman (!) Isn't She Lovely (which he sang to his daughter Aisha, who was on backup vocals) My Cherie Amour You Haven't Done Nothin' Signed, Sealed, Delivered (which he also had the crowd sing as a country song after going through it the first time)
There must have been more because the show was about 2.5 hours, but that's all I can recall at the moment. Even just writing that list, I still can't believe I got to hear so many of my lifetime favorites sung live.
Stevie also spent a lot of time joking around, having silly little conversations with himself in different voices, and had to stop the jam a couple times because he was cracking himself up so hard.
Then at the end, just before leaving the stage, he took a few moments to talk about love and how it's our highest calling to love one another. And just when you thought Stevie might be getting a little soft, he closed it with "You know what I think about all the people who have nothing but hate? All the haters? I think they should just go ahead and die and go to hell and stop trying to make this world a living hell. Do you agree?" Damn, Stevie! I'm glad I'm on your side.
Fucking awesome.
Update! He also played "Sir Duke" and "Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing."
