Graffiti the Ghost

What's Better Than a Bitch Slap?

Why, a Bitch Slap in super slow motion, of course.

posted by G-Train @ 5:07 AM 0 comments

Aren't they all good Fridays?

It's almost Easter! Time to revisit a classic:



That thing still makes me laugh even though I've seen it a thousand times.

I love Easter. I still color Easter eggs, at least whenever I manage to guilt people into coloring them with me. My favorite is the magic crayon. You know the little wax crayon you use to scrawl a secret invisible message on an egg, and then when you dye it, the message appears - "Fuck You!" - hahahaahaaaaa! Candy is good too.

There's also some Jesus-type goings-on around Easter. So it's a perfect time to revisit another classic:



He could walk on the water, and swim on the land.

No wonder there are so many Christians.

posted by stefbot @ 11:06 AM 1 comments

Hey look, everybody! It's Bob and David!

What the fuck!

That's fuckin awesome!

Are you fuckin kidding me?

I'm gonna watch the shit out of that show.

Bob and David return to HBO.

posted by Jess @ 8:18 AM 0 comments

You Fucking Time Travelers

I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of time travelers trying to kill me all the..uh, time. Zipping back to 2008 to kill me for something I'm not even going to get around to doing until 2025. Or how they're always like, "Oooooh, look at me, I can travel through time, look at me, I'm gonna kill me Hitler!" Everybody tries to kill Hitler on their first trip, douchebag. Nice to read the bulletin board before jumping in the Temporal Displacement Machine there, tiger.



Take this guy for example. Dude can't get through an episode of House without some Death-Bot materializing and trying to zap him. Why? Because of something his grandkid's going to do in, like, 50 years from now! How unfair is that?



I get it. I really do. I'm going to steal a laser beam during my mid-life crises and in an unlikely series of apocolyptic coincidence will succeed in bringing the world under my thumb, ushering in generations of enlightened yet despotic Chilipino rule. Personally, I don't see the problem with that. But the thing I really don't understand is why you fucking time travelers can't just go ride dinosaurs or watch Catherine the Great make nicey nice to horses or any of the other cool things you can be doing with your fucking time machines instead of trying to kill me.



Like I said, I totally get it. Now stay in your own year and stop trying to zap us.

Fucking time travelers. Seriously.

posted by G-Train @ 8:10 AM 3 comments

Can we please just elect this man already?

Because Obama's already acting like a leader, and a mighty fine one at that.

This speech on race is incredible, and it's about damn time someone in a position of power, someone other than Dave Chappelle, is actually saying things like this out loud.

Yeah, I know speeches can't solve America's problems. But they can at least point us in the right direction.

posted by stefbot @ 12:27 PM 3 comments

Boong-Ga Boong-Ga! Have a Fun!!

Okay, I like video games as much as anyone. Truth be told I have been known to supplement any form of exercise for the illusion of physical movement that is Halo 2.

But this game is just... messed up. It's called Boong-Ga Boong-Ga and the basic premise is shoving a finger into someone's ass. You select an 'opponent' from a list of characters like Child Molester, Mother-in-Law, Co-Worker or Gangster and commence to spanking the simulated rear-end at the front of the machine. If this doesn't provide enough of an outlet to your frustrations, you can shove the attached over-sized finger into the fake ass. The harder you spank and shove, the more the face on screen grimaces and yells, "and for players who perform exceptionally well the machine will dispense a small plastic trophy in the shape of a pile of feces." That's right! Play this game really well and win some crap, literally! Apparently, it also gives you a card rating your "sexual behavior". I'm no psychologist, but if you really want to shove your finger into someone's ass as a form of revenge I'm pretty sure you qualify as "Fucking Perverted!!!"



The game was released during the first year of the 21st century, so perhaps the post-millennial crazies got the best of the Korean game designers who also featured the following mascots during the game's initial release. Yup, that's everyone's favorite character "Shit" with his best friend "Stink Finger"!

The Koreans have a lot of explaining to do on this one.

posted by Hellpop @ 10:48 AM 2 comments

White Out

Dudes, check it out. My gay friend Ed sent me this today. It's about white people. It addresses topics that are of interest to me. Like having gay friends called Ed. I also have several Asian friends. They kid me about being white and I often tease them about being Asian. Like, for example, they'll say something like, 'hey, white people can't dance!' And I'll retort, 'hey, you like rice!' This good-natured ribbing shows how cool we are with our diversity. I also have some black friends, but really only one latino friend (but he's also gay so, ya know, cha ching!), and no pacific islanders. Oh wait, does chilipeno count?


I felt a bit alienated by some of the other posts on Stuff White People Like, though. For example, I don't really wear t-shirts, shorts or outdoor performance clothes, and I've never seen an episode of the The Wire. In fact, aside from the above mentioned stable of diverse friends, I had almost none of the characteristics mentioned on the site that would qualify me as a white person. I suppose I do enjoy musical comedy- as evidenced by two of my previous posts this month. And I have a blog. And live in Echo Park, which is totally the new Silverlake. And I drive a VW. And I quite enjoy the new Vampire Weekend album, although I think they're becoming a bit overexposed...

Ahhhh, there it is. Cultural identity crisis averted. Whiteness affirmed.

Thanks, Ed! Now could you go adopt some multi-ethnic bilingual kids already?

posted by Jess @ 10:58 AM 1 comments

Iron Man Spoiler!!!

That's right! Through my top secret industry contacts I have a GTG exclusive on the new Iron Man film! I also have free reign to use exclamation points throughout this post!!!
For those of you not in the know, the new Iron Man film is sure to be one heck of a pre-summer, action-packed roller coaster ride of entertainment! (PR firms, please quote Freylock from GTG for all your press needs).

Not only that, but as this spoiler will reveal, the film delves deep into the controversial topics of today! What drives men to evil? Why are the Terrorists™ so bent on our destruction and how can we stop them?

Not just a jovial vehicle for controversial actor Robert Downey Jr., this film has it all!

So charge up your repulsor rays and head on over to this super secret pre-viz that reveals the film's main plot line!!!

SPOILER ALERT!!!!

posted by Hellpop @ 8:44 AM 2 comments

Lost Point

Remember when Lost Boys came out? I do. It was 1987. I was 12 years old. And I wanted to be a lost boy. In particular, I wanted to be Jami Gertz. I wanted to ride on the back of Keifer Sutherland's Triumph motorcycle and be a tragic heroine- half vampire, half waif. I wanted to sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. Hey, what do you want from me? I was 12. Not a whole lot of interesting stuff to occupy one's mind at that age when you're stuck in rural North Carolina, stealing booze from your dad's liquor cabinet and smoking banana leaves to get high.

I even loved the soundtrack. What was not to love? Roger Daltry's version of Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me, Echo and the Bunnyman's version of People are Strange? 2 tracks by that new band INXS? C'mon!!

I first heard about the fact that they were making a "crappy sequel" to Lost Boys through this really embarrassing reality moment between 2 Coreys. Wow. How far the mighty have fallen, right? Well at least Feldman is sticking to his guns. Honoring his brother in an act of supreme solidarity. When faced with the fact that he, but not his partner in all things Corey, was being asked to participate, he responded with a firm "there's no f-ing way I'm doing it without you."

Oh. Weird. Cuz this new trailer seems to feature one Edgar Frog pretty predominantly. One other thing you may notice about the trailer- it's pretty much Point Break (complete with a leader that's the spitting image of Swayze's Bodhi). Except that instead of bank robbers, the surfers are, well, you see where this is going. All it needs is for Edgar Frog to jump out and do his best "I AM A VAMPIRE HUNTER" ala Mr. Reeves himself. Oh wait, check.

Yeah, I give them mad props for bringing back the original "Cry Little Sister" theme, but I think I'm gonna just wait and see the live theatrical version that's sure to follow.

Ooh, speaking of which... anyone wanna play a little 6 degrees of degredation? Alex Winter, who made his feature film debut in Lost Boys, went on to star in a little movie called Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. I love it when things come full circle like that.

posted by Jess @ 8:15 PM 1 comments

Oh snap... crackle and pop

In honor of the holidays and mistreated leprechauns everywhere, I think it's time for a little Bo Burnham.




Jeffro would be livid if I didn't mention that he was the one who introduced me to Bo. Let's all raise our pints to Jeffro, shall we? He's down in SXSW this week. Yep, he got to go to the festival, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt:



Thanks, pal. No really, thanks.

Happy St. Pat's everybody- whenever you choose to celebrate it.

posted by Jess @ 9:54 AM 0 comments

St. Patrick's Day Two-fer

I have a couple friends coming from the east coast to visit me for St. Patrick's Day this year. So you'd think I'd be pretty much on it as far as St. Patty's Day celebrations. Yet I just now found out that St. Patrick's Day has been moved up to Saturday, March 15th this year. How did I not know that?

Well, probably because it's only kinda, sorta moved to the 15th. The Catholic Church declared the change in order that St. Patrick's Day celebrations wouldn't happen during Holy Week. As far as secular celebrations go, however, some are on the 15th, and some on the 17th. For example, San Francisco's parade will be on the 15th, but most bar-related events are happening on the 17th.

So which day does one celebrate? My first thought is, BOTH. Because one good day of drinking stout & whiskey deserves another. Preferably two days later, to allow for recovery time.

But really, we should turn to the experts on this one. What do the Irish have to say on the matter? Well the Dublin St. Patrick's Day Festival runs from March 13-17, culminating with the parade on the 17th. Sorry, Cat-licks, Holy Week will just have to come late this year.

posted by stefbot @ 5:36 PM 2 comments

Aieeeeeee!

I mean, um, ARRR! I was just taking a peek at our beloved fashion god Jean Paul Gaultier's site the other day, and lo and behold, guess what he did for his Spring 2008 Pret A Porter line? PIRATES! If only we had these outfits for the Jess/Stefbot 30th Birthday Pirate Cruise...and if only we were rich enough to afford them too.

Now, for those of you not familiar with Gaultier, let me explain something. You know how sometimes a trend will start in America, and then it will get adopted by Japan, and Japanese kids will blow it up exponentially to some crazy style we in America could never have foreseen? Well, Gaultier is like that, but if the crazy Japanified style was then ported over to Paris and blown up exponentially once again to a mind-bogglingly creative, incredibly detailed level of craftsmanship and style.

So when Gaultier does pirates, he doesn't give you this:



He adds some volume and color and layers and feathers and gives you the likes of THIS:





Gaultier closed the show with a series of what struck me as "pirate brides lost at sea," all of whom were smoking as they strolled down the runway. Because that's what pirate brides do when they are lost at sea, you see:



Gotta love the French.

You can view the entire collection on Gaultier's site - just click on the Pret A Porter tab. And while you're there, check out the regally-themed Spring 2008 Haute Couture line as well.

posted by stefbot @ 12:39 PM 2 comments

Go Solon. It's your birfday.

We are all about the birthdays this month. We have an extra special one to celebrate today. Solon Vega Moore, weighing in at a whopping 7lbs 10oz, joined the world of the breathing without gills this morning at 7:15 am. Mom and baby are doing great.

Congrats, Megs and Zach, on bringing yet another genetically superior human to the earth to make the rest of us look bad. Love to the whole fam.

posted by Jess @ 9:29 AM 3 comments

Re. Your Brains

Good week. Got a solid job lead from my former lab partner at VJ school, Freylock and I found a potential new lair in a cool neighborhood (and let me tell you, apartment hunting in this town can be hell), and I moved into an office with a window (natural light is the new black!).

Things aren't all cherry pie and Twizzlers at work though. Just like at every job, there are people who are more difficult than others to work with. But thanks to Jeffro, I've learned some valuable diplomacy techniques. First, explain the problem. Then calmly present your side of the story, and make your case for resolution. I think it can best be summed up in song.

After all, I'm not a monster. Well, technically, I am.

Somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

posted by Jess @ 9:03 PM 0 comments

As Promised

Fucking g-train.

Rainbowpuke.com

posted by Jess @ 2:29 PM 2 comments

Fire

Please click below as you read:


Better Fireplace - The most popular videos are a click away

Ever thought about fire?

I was having a really good stake dinner at Morton’s the other night (I didn’t buy, it was a production gift for working my tail off on a recent shoot) and we started wondering about how early man first started cooking stuff.

When they first discovered fire, it must have been like the coolest thing ever. I bet they were running around seeing what they could do with it. Burning shit, lighting shit, cooking! Does this burn? Does that burn? Man, all this shit burns! How cool is this?!?

Really, it must have been, like the first iPhone. I bet a lot of cavemen were running around with fire and then the other cave men… well, they didn’t have it:

“Dude, did you get fire yet?”
“Nah, man. I'm cool with this rock.”
“You totally have to get fire. It’s so fucking cool. It like interfaces with a cow and you get steak!”
“No shit?”
“Totally! And you can like go so far into caves now. Just spark up a torch and you can see shit.”
“That is soo wicked.”
“And check this out, if you take your fire and light some of those crazy-ass weeds near that dead mastodon, you can fucking smoke that shit!”
“Smoke? What the fuck is that?”
“You are so far out of the loop, bro-ham.”
“Fuck! I gots to up in that fire shit!”
“That’s what I’ve been saying! You gotta get the ha-zook up, dude!”

Of course that conversation would have been a series of coughs and phlegm-riddled grunts because language had yet to come along, but you get the picture.

Fire. How cool.



One down. Nine to go.

posted by Hellpop @ 8:45 PM 1 comments

Winning Hearts And Minds

'Merica's been bringing the bright shining light of US firepower over to Iraq for years now, and they still hate us. We've tried killing em all, and all of a sudden we're "Mr Bad Guy." Whatever, I don't get it. Liberty ain't free, Terry Taliban. I'd prefer if you just said "thank you" and went on your way.

It's time for a change.

No, I'm not talking about famous muslim surrender monkey Barack Obama. I'm talking winning the hearts and minds of the Iraqi peeps. Reaching out with a pale white hand, showing the natives that we're there to help, not hurt, you know?.

But how do we do it?

Our fine Marines have a few ideas! Here are just a few:

1. Kill islamofascist puppies



Sometimes terrorrorists like to disguise themselves as puppies and you can never be too careful. This soldier just saved someone's life.

2. Throw a live grenade into a flock of evil sheep



This may seem cruel, but unless I'm mistaken these are the Wild Sheep of Falluja. Those beasts eat tanks and fart sarin. I have a friend who knows somebody who saw one do it once.

3. Run over their terror cars with a tank



We should only do this while they're in it of course. They looove when we do that. Oh relax, they're insured. Probably. Besides, the video's kinda misleading because it cuts out before they get out and do the "tank dance."

So these are just a few of the ideas that we're trying out over there. I don't see the harm, and besides, I like when we try new things.

That's why I'm a liberal!

posted by G-Train @ 7:03 AM 5 comments

Lordy Lordy, GTG is... 3!

That's right! We survived the terrible 2s! But that's not all we have to celebrate this month. It's also Chip's 40th birthday. For those of you who don't know him, Chip is one of our oldest friends. Literally. Ha! I kid.


Yeah, I know. He looks really young for his age.

Chip is not only one of the coolest, most solid dudes you'll ever meet- he's also been a huge supporter of this blog, checking it daily even when we douchbags haven't posted in a couple months or more. In honor of Chip's big day, we've all committed to hitting 40 posts in the month of March. Of course I make no promises that they'll be quality posts, but hell, does anyone ever really expect that of us in the first place? Didn't think so.

Let the games begin. Happy birthday, Chip!

(thanks to Stefbot for dredging up the GTG baby pic out of the vaults. Cute little bugger, isn't he? Oh, and Amy, hope you don't mind my shamelessly lifting Chip's pic from you.)

posted by Jess @ 6:42 PM 3 comments