Winning Hearts And Minds
'Merica's been bringing the bright shining light of US firepower over to Iraq for years now, and they still hate us. We've tried killing em all, and all of a sudden we're "Mr Bad Guy." Whatever, I don't get it. Liberty ain't free, Terry Taliban. I'd prefer if you just said "thank you" and went on your way.
It's time for a change.
No, I'm not talking about famous muslim surrender monkey Barack Obama. I'm talking winning the hearts and minds of the Iraqi peeps. Reaching out with a pale white hand, showing the natives that we're there to help, not hurt, you know?.
But how do we do it?
Our fine Marines have a few ideas! Here are just a few:
1. Kill islamofascist puppies
Sometimes terrorrorists like to disguise themselves as puppies and you can never be too careful. This soldier just saved someone's life.
2. Throw a live grenade into a flock of evil sheep
This may seem cruel, but unless I'm mistaken these are the Wild Sheep of Falluja. Those beasts eat tanks and fart sarin. I have a friend who knows somebody who saw one do it once.
3. Run over their terror cars with a tank
We should only do this while they're in it of course. They looove when we do that. Oh relax, they're insured. Probably. Besides, the video's kinda misleading because it cuts out before they get out and do the "tank dance."
So these are just a few of the ideas that we're trying out over there. I don't see the harm, and besides, I like when we try new things.
That's why I'm a liberal!
posted by G-Train @ 7:03 AM
5 Comments:
London has turned you dark, Galeon. Dark. Where's the apathy that we grew to love in our g-train?
Now I have to do a post about rainbows puking to lighten the mood. Just want everyone to know that they have you to thank for that.
Oh, gee, Galeon, that last video reminded me I need to tell ya something. Um, it's about Nigel. That was your car's name right? Little blue thing, kinda looked like a fat smurf? Um, yeah, so the other night I was burning this couch and I realize Whoah! That's not a couch, it's the backseat of a car. And what are the odds, but it turns out to be your car.
So have fun in London, buddy. But buy some nice sneakers before you come back home.
PS- http://www.snopes.com/photos/military/throwpuppy.asp
Oh, the apathy's still there Jess. It's just more of a passionate ambivalance now.
And Jeffro, that's a crazy coincidence. I only hope you used other people's drinks when putting out the flames.
Tossing puppies. Is that the new catch phrase over the pond?
"I was so tossing puppies last night."
"Shut up and boil me some meat."
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