You Fucking Time Travelers
I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of time travelers trying to kill me all the..uh, time. Zipping back to 2008 to kill me for something I'm not even going to get around to doing until 2025. Or how they're always like, "Oooooh, look at me, I can travel through time, look at me, I'm gonna kill me Hitler!" Everybody tries to kill Hitler on their first trip, douchebag. Nice to read the bulletin board before jumping in the Temporal Displacement Machine there, tiger.
Take this guy for example. Dude can't get through an episode of House without some Death-Bot materializing and trying to zap him. Why? Because of something his grandkid's going to do in, like, 50 years from now! How unfair is that?
I get it. I really do. I'm going to steal a laser beam during my mid-life crises and in an unlikely series of apocolyptic coincidence will succeed in bringing the world under my thumb, ushering in generations of enlightened yet despotic Chilipino rule. Personally, I don't see the problem with that. But the thing I really don't understand is why you fucking time travelers can't just go ride dinosaurs or watch Catherine the Great make nicey nice to horses or any of the other cool things you can be doing with your fucking time machines instead of trying to kill me.
Like I said, I totally get it. Now stay in your own year and stop trying to zap us.
Fucking time travelers. Seriously.
posted by G-Train @ 8:10 AM
3 Comments:
Um, question- where is that Echo Park Time Travel Mart? My Flux Capacitor needs a plutonium topoff.
It's the 826 Valencia in LA.
It didn't open till the year 2046, unless somebody went back in time again and changed it recently.
Can I get that plutonium in weapons grade?
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