The greatest gift of all...
came wrapped in navy, white & orange, and it went a little something like this:
Chicago, 24Green Bay, 17
Da Bears also clinched the NFC North division with the
win, another great present for us oft-disappointed Chicago fans.
And if that wasn't enough, our
quarterback is actually kinda cute (for a football player).
Somewhere in football heaven, Walter Payton is smiling.
(Football heaven is just like regular heaven, but you get to tackle).
This is what I'm getting Stefbot for Xmas.... shhhhhh!
Her very own
monkey friend. Well, ok, it's an ape, but let's not split hairs. Now, with a couple of fake ferns, she can replicate the
Rainforest Cafe experience in her own living room. Creeeeepy.
This Christmas, let He who is without sin kick the first ass.
I decided that using quotes from Aquateen when I couldn't come up with a title for posts was lame and unoriginal. So I used a quote from Family Guy instead.
This is almost as much fun as a "double feature" Sunday with Rok and Tung. (thanks, Greg!)
And you thought that plastic reindeer you stuck out on your fire escape was festive... this is some
next level yuletide cheer right here. (via
Thighs Wide Shut). And in case you doubt the veracity of this little display, as I did at first,
Snopes confirms. That'll do, Mr. Williams, that'll do.
Here's what to get the deserving and ultra hip guy on your list. These are so cool I almost want one for myself. (via
Cool Hunting)
Finally, this has absolutely nothing to do with the holidays- which is actually reason enough to post it. Check out the work of
Audrey Kawasaki.
Santa Claus ain't comin to this town anymore.
Wow. WTF, San Francisco? Why do you hate Santa? Does he not know when you've been naughty or nice? Does he not selflessly brave wind, sleet, snow and hail to bring you whatever your little heart desires every freakin year? Why the all out, city wide hate fest that you served up to all the jolly St. Nicks who turned up for their one day of Christmas cheer known as
Santacon before once more taking that annual lonely sleigh ride?
First there was the weather. Jesus, SF. Really. Who knew you could be so pissy. Well, we all knew, but hoped that you might smile on us anyway. But that's ok, Santa will not be deterred by a little wet. We come dressed to handle little set backs like these. Forge on, Santa, forge on.
But then to be flat out refused entry from bars like the 500 Club like a drunken prostitute, or a pregnant virgin. Apparently Santa is not welcome. I know one bartender who's getting a lump of coal in his stocking this year.
And from that point on it only got worse. Bar patrons, SFPD, I even caught a couple of 5 year olds giving us the old stink eye. The whole city seemed to be donning a ratty night shirt and stocking cap and giving us a resounding, "Bah, humbug!"
Ok, so granted, Santa can get a bit belligerent when he drinks. Sometimes he whips out his candy cane and sprinkles Christmas cheer where it doesn't belong. Sometimes he gets a little too jolly with women who are not Mrs. Claus. And who doesn't occasionally mistake a poodle for a reindeer? But c'mon, it's our one day off! Cut Santa some slack. He would do the same for you.
I was even asked to leave one club because a Santa caused a ruckus in another room. Ok, this is just flat out santaism. All Santas are condemned by the actions of one? Or is it just that all Santas look alike to you? Is that it, Mr. Bouncer? We all look alike? Huh? I think it might be time for a little class action! Santa's sending the elves to law school. How ya like them spiced apples?
Oh, you'll get yours, SF. We're keeping a list, and checking it twice. Well, at least we're seeing double, which is kinda like checking it twice. So a very unmerry Christmas, and a crappy New Year to you, too! Now, anyone remember where we parked the sleigh?
Signed,
One Pissed-off North Pole-ock
** On a serious note, we were refused service at the Gold Dust Lounge (near the Powell BART station) because they wouldn't serve our friend who was in a wheelchair. I shit you not. They flat out said they would not serve him because he was in a wheelchair. And then called the cops to remove him. Please tell everyone you know.
Little Bunny Foo Foo
I was about to lose my shit this morning because our much-delayed office furniture (the bane of my existence for the last few months) was finally delivered this morning, and our CEO doesn't like it, the picky bastard. I vented to a couple people but my blood was still close to boiling point.
But then Ding Dong sends me this wonder of wonders,
Cute Overload. OMG. All negative cells in my body have now been converted to fluffy clouds with google eyes and fuzzy pink hats and mittens. My favorites are the baby fawn (reminds me of Windy when she's sleeping), the baby seal, and the troupe of ducklings following the husky. If looking at that doesn't make you smile just a little bit, even on the inside, then your heart truly is dead.
Deck the halls with... toxic tears that I weep for you.
Wondering what to get your nephew who used to be a cute little guy named Billy but has since grown into a Dresden Dolls listening butterfly knife carrying skull fucking weirdo called William?
Look no further. (via
Boingboing)
And if you can't imagine how you will survive another Christmas at your cousin's house listening to her new baby scream like a banshee and drool all over the goose? Take notes, and maybe the adorable little tyke can land you on the
Baby Review.
Finally, to round out our yuletide trinity of tastelessness, some righteous canine retribution from the folks at
Landover Baptist. (via Zaxxon)
Falalala... ah screw it.
Pop-lockin' Fresh
Two goodies today, and they both just happen to be about pastry.
First, Tung sent me
this clip of one MC Jelly D. Few things have made me more proud to live in Oakland.
Second, my moms sent me
this gem, featuring the Pillsbury doughboy and a croissant. Dough!
I'll Be Stoned for Christmas
That's the title of a song I heard the other day on the all xmas, all the time, XM radio station I've been listening to in my car for the last couple weeks. I admit it - I love xmas songs. Especially when they involve gettin' tore up.
I love xmas trees too, but since I'm always in Texas visiting my parents for the holidays, I never bother getting one. Not so for one Miz Jones, whose lovely
picture is on SFGate, along with her cutie-pants bebe. Notice how the photog conveniently positioned Daddy Zach behind the tree. Nice one. (And thanks to Feinberg for the link). Speaking of xmas trees, Tung tells me there's a totally acid tree at Pier 39, with blue LED's and strobe lights. I haven't seen it, but it sounds like it's worth checking out, whether you traditionally eat acid for xmas or not.
The hardest part about xmas for me is usually finding something cool to get my Dad. Like most dads, he doesn't ask for much, always claiming that seeing my brother and me is the best present. But he's awesome, and very generous, so I always want to get him something great that will really knock him on his ass. But what? Socks? A tie? Not gonna cut it.
Finally this year he came up with some surprises on his list, and they're so cool, I want them too! Check this shit out - a
Darth Vader helmet made from the original studio molds! Unfortunately I can't swing the $1,000 price tag, so Dad is getting
this as a consolation prize. Obviously I come from a family of Star Wars freaks, I'm not even gonna try to deny that. Cuz the other cool thing my dad asked for (and I now covet) is this
voice-activated R2-D2.
And speaking of presents, if you've been scratching your head (or your crotch) wondering what on earth you're going to get Laird and Smoove this year, look no
further. (Thanks to B-b-brian for the link).
Is TAZ the new PLUR?
Trancecracker... nothing like "Dance, Cracker!!" Having the attention span of a gerbil on meth I didn't quite make it all the way through this one, but there is some funny stuff there. (via Tommy Bigfinger)
You may want to go into your back yards right now and practice putting your hands in the air, cuz the holiday parties are coming up real soon. Santacon and the
Wildlife holiday party are the same weekend, Dec 17 (by the way, the Chrismas sweaters are TOO CUTE boys). Holy reindeer turds, that's gonna be a deadly couple of days. If I get the job I'm interviewing for on Monday (thas right, bitchez, somebody wants to talk to me! Just when I thought my phone wasn't working anymore...) I will be there with sleighbells on, so keep your fingers and toesies crossed for me.
On the heels of my obsessive Radiohead post below, Jeffro and I have been geeking out all morning. He sent me three EPs I'd never heard before, and in return I am getting him this
template for drawing of the moon. It's good to have friends. (via
Catchdubs)
Also thanks to Jeffro, via boingboing,
Revenge of the sushi. That's what they get for stealing my
pet jellyfish idea years ago.
Your friends and neighbors...
...have been busy little squirrels. Zaxxon and the rest of
Guerrillasoul have made some spiffy new updates to their site.. looks amazing guys.
Also, if you didn't already know, you can see what Tamo (Greengirl) and Viajay have been up to
here and
here. Tamo, Jay, J9 and I have also recently decided to revive the Angels of bAss, a collective we started after Snowcamp last year, so stay tuned for developments on that both in SF and down here.
And finally, I have put together a bit of a CD while I was in SF over Thanksgiving to kind of let folks down here know what I sound like... well, at least what I sound like at Stefbot and Dingdong's house after several shots of Patron. Anyway, it's not perfect (levels could use some work, etc), but if you want a copy drop me a self addressed stamped envelope to 1745 Winona Blvd, Apt. 12, LA, CA 90027 and I'll send you one sealed with a kiss.
I'm off to a local fashion show tonight, a couple of designers who bill themselves as "burner fashion", so more on that to come...
Fitter. Happier. More productive.
Well I managed to survive Goldilox's visit over the weekend. Most of my synapses are firing again, anyway, so I got that got that going for me. Friday night's party was an interesting glimpse into the LA underground... and I made some new friends. Still sorting out my impressions, so nuff on that for now.
I've decided after spending the weekend at our friend Brian's super awesome loft that downtown living is the way to go. These places are amazing, and are filled with the coolest people. They are exactly as you'd picture an artist's loft, huge warehouse spaces with vines growing up the sides and roof access with 360 degree views of downtown, usually inhabited by really cool and creative people who are attempting to escape from the typical "LA scene." I think I may have found my dream home.
Los Angeles is still a bit of an enigma, but I think it's definitely growing on me... there are so many talented people here, but the only problem is that they are so busy working their asses off in their chosen field that hanging out is a rare treat. Fine with me, really, as one of the reasons I moved down here was to hang out a little bit less, and to be inspired to get off my ass and do something. The motivation is easy to tap into... you sit on your ass too long down here and you will be left behind.
So, what am I doing with my new found creative spark? Well, for example, the other day I made the definitive Radiohead mix. This is something I've been thinking about for at least a year. Dorky? Maybe...ok, definitely... but this is not a simple matter of throwing my fave RH songs into an ITunes playlist and clicking burn. No siree. There are multiple factors to consider when choosing the songs that make the cut, as well as the all important track order. Each of Radiohead's albums is representative of a very different facet of their collective personalities and evolution as a band, and you can't just throw The Bends in there on top of No Surprises. Perish the thought. But now that it's finished I can rest easy knowing that I possess the Best EVAR best ever Radiohead album. EVAR. Shoot me an email if you are a huge dork as well and would like the track list, or your own copy. (Talking to you here, Brownhole.)
Are you getting worried? No need... I haven't barricaded myself into the apartment and covered the walls with pics of Thom and the boys splattered with melted candle wax or anything. A simple closet shrine is enough, I think. No no, I also have spent my time on other worthwhile pursuits.
I've learned to knit. That's right. Check out this awesome little number that I made for Sadie the other day. It's being modeled by this stray that I found in the alley cuz Sadie hasn't really come around to the idea yet. She'll be begging me for a pair of adorable breeches soon, I know it. And my wounds will heal. Not worried.
All things considered I'd say things are falling into place down here. I still haven't found a really good music store, or the perfect burrito, or, you know, a JOB, but all in all a promising start to my new adventure.
PS- Wondering what everyone's getting for Christmas? That's right, cableknit Radiohead sweaters for your cats. Yay.
Monkey Jockey!
In the name of Friday and all that is Good and True, I give you... Pictures of Monkeys Riding Things.
Link courtesy of B-b-brian. And after a nice long ride out on the range, what chimp doesn't enjoy a
good smoke? I know I do!
Tonight I've got a possible triple-threat dance card, which should help me make up points from my 3-days-straight couchfest last weekend. First off is a quickie visit with
Lyrics Born, one of my new favorites this year. He's playing as part of the Quannum Records showcase at
G.A.M.E., a gaming extravaganza being produced by DingDong's
employer at Moscone Center this weekend. If you like video games, you really ought to check it out.
Second on tonight's dance card is of course
Amnesia, followed by (if I can make it...unlikely in my old age but I'm giving it the old college try) the DownLow renegade, care of piotr, alxndr, and perhaps some other cast and crew whose names I don't know.
These guys throw a hell of a party, reminiscent of old-tyme BTx renegades, yet with their own distinct flavor (and giant camo bus). Shoot me an email if you want info. Tonight's theme is puppets, as in bring 'em, make 'em there, or just watch 'em. If I make it there, and you make it there, come see my enchanting collection of finger puppets. You'll want to find them before they find you.
