Square the Quad-Laser and you have, behold: The Quad-Glaser.
A guerilla marketing scheme for Aqua Teen Hunger Force went
horribly awry in Boston today.
oooops.
While I do think it was a pretty retarded idea to put things with visible circuit boards and wires underneath bridges, it's not exactly accurate to call it a "hoax," as the Governor of Massachusetts did. I doubt the folks at Adult Swim, or whoever came up with this, really wanted to scare people into thinking there were bombs planted all over their city with freakin Ignignokt on them.
But who knows. Perhaps their plan is just advanced beyond all that we can
possibly imagine with 100% of our brains.
(Thx to Pablo for the story. Incredible how fast this shit gets thrown up on
Wikipedia.)
Da Bears
Just saw this joke on the
Chicago Tribune site and thought I'd share:
Peyton Manning, after living a full life, died.
When he got to heaven, God was showing him around.
They came to a modest little house with a faded Colts flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Peyton," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Peyton felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a blue and orange sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Bears logo flag, and in every window, a Chicago Bears towel.
Peyton looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even went to the Hall of Fame."
God said, "So what's your point, Peyton?"
"Well, why does Rex Grossman get a better house than me?"
God chuckled, and said: "Peyton, that's not Rex's house, it's mine."
My new kick ass phone.
Hey everybody, here's my new phone:
Here it is from another angle (floating in space):
Things my new phone can do:
1. Make phone calls
2. Ring when others call me (current ringtone: Idioteque. That's right.)
3. Tell time and date.
4. Take pictures of my cat chillin in the bed. (see exhibit A)
Exhibit A:
That is all.
This is Corey Haim's World. You and I? We Just Live In It.
So what the fuck ever happened to Cory Haim? Dude rocked our worlds with Lost Boys and made us believe with License to Drive. He was innocent Lucas Corey while Corey Feldman played badass Goonies Corey, an image damaged from the start by his decision to imitate the style of Michael Jackson. But hey, he's like exactly my age and he's probably accomplished more than I ever will, particularly in the world of rehab centers and feathered hair. He totally dominates me in both those fields. Plus, I'll never come close to the artistic genius of Dream a Little Dream 2.
If any of you see Corey around, give him a shout out from G-Train. We miss his puckered expression of eternal innocent surprise, and we know that in a world of the Two Coreys, there is only really one. Godspeed, Corey Haim. Godspeed.
And the Award Goes To...
Yes, the rumors are true. I won! I did it. No. WE did it.
As you might have seen on TV or read in the news, G-Train won the 2006 International Award for Awesomeness, sweeping every single category. Competition was crazy fierce, but I managed to pull ahead of Bono, Kim Jong Il and a lot of other fans I've never met, probably because they all voted for me. Even Time Magazine noticed, and even though they just said "You," we all know who they meant.
TV On the Radio took losing the Rockin' competition pretty well I thought, but Mary Lou Retton was a little upset over our Gymnastics match, which I won despite never having done gymnastics. Kasparov cried like the commie he is when I poured chamagne over Deep Blue after checkmating it in 4 moves. Pablo Picasso was understandably pissed at being brought back from the dead just so I could take 1st place in Cubism, but he backed off reeeeal quick once he saw me knock out Evander Holyfield with my right hook haymaker. I put Christopher Hitchens in his place at the dinner party competition and showed the Dalai Lama what's up by reincarnating myself as an ant, a white elephant, and then Joey Ramone, in that order. I accidentily out-awesomed God himself when creating an alternative universe just to shut up Steven J Hawkings, but it was after I wrote the great American novel on a grain of arborio rice, causing Thomas Pynchon to forfeit and become my personal biographer, that I really began to feel like I could win this thing.
I couldn't have done it without your support. Well I guess we both know I could totally have done it on my own, but you know.
