XXX Food Network action
For those of you who watch Food Network (and I know that's most of you, don't try to deny it), TVgasm has some great Food Network commentary, accompanied by some great screen shots, that you need to check out. Some of my favorites:Giada Watch 2005 - all about that giant-toothed, enormous-headed, tiny-bodied Italian chef, Giada DeLaurentiis. Be sure to read on to the fight between "Matt H" and "Matt H's girlfriend" at the end of the comments section for the XXX-action referred to in the title of this post.
Paula Deen Coronary Watch - hey, if you're gonna die, you might as well be full of butter when you go.
Suggestive Barefoot Contessa Moment of the Day - dirty!
Who's the Sexiest Food Channel Woman? - I'd have to go with Rachel Ray myself. Someone told me recently that there's a "Is it porn or Rachel Ray?" bit on that radio station that used to be non-stop dance music (97.5? The Party? Anyone?), where they play clips of either porn movies or Rachel Ray tasting her food and you have to guess which it is. Haven't caught it yet but apparently it's on in the mornings.
IMHO, the hottest Food Network Man would be the chairman from Iron Chef America except that he's not a chef (he's a martial artist), so he doesn't count. Jamie Oliver is kinda cute in that drunken-pasty-British-boy kind of way, so he could be a runner-up. I know Bradley has a secret crush on Marc Summers from Unwrapped, or is it that guffawing, all-American doofus Jim O'Connor from "The Secret Life of dot-dot-dot"? I just want to strangle both of those dudes by the end of each episode. And not in an erotic asphyxiation kind of way. In a killing kind of way. Bobby Flay is a pot-bellied, shameful twit, especially ever since he jumped on the counter and stood on his cutting board in the first episode of Iron Chef America, so he's out. 
Tyler Florence needs to be punched in the face a few times. Alton Brown, though I love his kooky antics, is simply Not Hot...too much like a little brother. And Michael Chiarello is the gayest chef to ever bake a quiche in gaytown.So who does that leave us with? Who could be the hottest dude on Food Network?
Surprise, surprise, it's Chen Kenichi, Iron Chef Chinese, for his cute chubby cheeks, deft knife handling and miraculous culinary skillz!
posted by stefbot @ 3:03 PM
2 Comments:
That battle between Matt H and his girlfriend is classic. Things like that are the only reason I miss being in a relationship. You just can't spew that kind of hatred on someone unless you are sharing a bed.
PS- I heart pasty British boys. But everyone knows that although Brits can fly, they can't cook. And that you shouldn't talk to pans.
Ouch! Slamming my sweet boy toy Jim O'Conner. Dorky Hot he is! And please, I can show you where to stick your EVOO, Rachel. By the by, I read she was schtummping an exec at Food Network hence the pocketful of new shows she gets each season (and yes I know she just got married--good cover RR!).
But let's not fight. I 100% agree, hands down that Chen Kinichi is the hottest chef on the channel.
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