Graffiti the Ghost

Go Sylar!!

To anyone who has not seen the last episode of Heroes, please read no further.

For everyone else, this is a major geek alert.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am the geekiest of geeks when it comes to comic books. I even watched that piece of trash Fantastic Four movie even though I knew it would suck. So a weekly series about super heroes had me slapping my geek vein pretty hard and getting ready for a major nerd fix.

Imagine my disappointment as I watched these “heroes” bitch, complain and moan every week like a group of dysfunctional namby pambys in a therapist’s waiting room. Save the Cheerleader?! Look back at the episode true believers – it was the bad guys that took Sylar down on that one, not any of the heroes. My frustration would build with every episode as they would run around and basically do nothing but complain! Any time a hero would encounter the evil Sylar, they would fuck up royally and get their ass kicked. Think about it: there’s a guy who can stop time and he can’t manage to lop someone’s head off. Here’s an idea – Stop time. Go get a cup of coffee. Have a doughnut or two. Walk back to bad guy and chop his head off. Do some laundry or something, then, turn time back on. Badda bing.

The only hero with some cajones was that bad-ass Jessica broad who actually would take it downtown on the hoodlums in a serious way. But even with her we had to wade through the weepy Nikki until she decided to look in a mirror from time to time.

Now let’s get to Peter, the lead Hero. The first time he meets Sylar, he turns invisible and then walks about two feet away from the evil dude. One would think that he would try to get behind him, smack him in the face, or even run out the door, but no – he just stands two feet away from certain death and gets a well-deserved shard of glass in his skull.

It was that episode that turned me. Rather than watch week after douche-chilling week for the Heroes to shut up and do something, I decided I was rooting for Sylar. Sure he kills a few people and all, but at least he is getting off his ass and doing something. He’s a real go-getter who won’t take no for an answer. Of course there’s the added bonus that he is not terminally stupid. I actually began to enjoy the show as he would outwit all these heroes and their sidekicks all the while kicking ass and taking names. So he eats brains every once in a while. A small price to pay for getting to watch someone do something and not scream at the screen in frustration as yet another hero did something incredibly dumb in the face of conflict.

So imagine my disappointment in the final episode when I watched the little time-stopper (who looks like he is trying to drop a deuce every time he uses his power) get a few hours of training with Lieutenant Sulu and suddenly he can stab the only bad-ass on the show. Not that I hold it against Sylar, I mean he was outnumbered and trying to drop the whimpy little Peter who was about to kill all of New York because he couldn’t even mange to control his Extreme Exploding Fireball Action Hands ™.

But I should have known better. That Sylar’s got moxie and he managed to crawl away into the sewers to fight another day. Yup. Right under the noses of half a dozen heroes and stabbed through the chest, he got away clean. What a guy. So on the scoreboard at the end of the season: Sylar – about 12, Heroes – 0.


I can’t wait for the next season of heroes. Maybe Sylar will eat the brains of that Indian doctor guy and gain the power of Overly Effeminate Pseudo-British Action™.

posted by Hellpop @ 9:09 AM