Graffiti the Ghost

Proposition Unfuck the System

So there we are last night drinking crunk and poring over propositions for next weeks election, when it hits us. All these ballots can really be consolidated into one single overarching initiative - A unified measure that will curb energy emmissions, reduce election fraud, and aid all Californians, and it'll do it in one fell swoop.

We submit Proposition Unfuck the System.

This all-encompassing statute shall do the following:

-End corruption as we know it by appointing only awesome people into position of power. Qualified candidates will possess an impeccable sense of style and have great taste in music. Their closets will be meticulously rifled through and playlists will be thoroughly reviewed just to make sure.

-Money will be siphoned away from inefficient pet projects like Prop 89 that nobody understands, and instead will be put towards useful projects that will truly make a difference, like installing moving sidewalks and giving free jetpacks to everyone.

-Institute Head Start 2, a social program that gives Zima and trucker hats to teenagers so they get it out of their system early and don't embarass themselves later in life.

-Allocate $20 billion dollars to plant precision explosives to detonate along faultlines, causing the entire state of California to float away and drift back and forth between Nevada and Hawaii. We will pick up travelers on either side and ferry them across the Pacific for a small fee that will include refreshments, DJs in all major cities, and an open bar.

Of course there are still some minor details to iron out and we have to figure out where all the money will come from, but we're assuming that cover charges from house parties and our new ketchup tax on french fries should more than foot the bill. We are open to requests and ideas.

If you care about shit, then you will vote yes on Proposition Unfuck the System.

posted by G-Train @ 11:52 AM